Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Home {Bittersweet} Home

So tonight I'm really missing BYU. And although I've been a complete slacker on the blogging front (and Kayla reminds me of it every time I talk to her), I'm coming back if you'll have me. And even if you won't, I'm coming back for my sake. After crying a little bit to my mom tonight, I somehow ended up stalking my blog and realized that blogging has been super good for me in the past. So here I am, trying to gather my thoughts and get a little bit more in touch with myself.

I actually wrote the next few paragraphs of this post a couple of weeks ago, complete with pictures and everything and it was wonderful and I thought it published but it didn't...and it didn't save half the post either. So Blogger and I weren't exactly BFFs that night and that just added to my excuses for not blogging. Anyways, here is a super melodramatic post for your pleasure. I'm feeling a little bit on the dramatic side tonight, so this is working out perfectly...

{One month (plus one day) ago, I was on a flight from Provo to Mesa. I had just thrown away a few things to meet the weight limit on my luggage and given Erica one last hug as we cried at the security checkpoint. A couple hours before, I said goodbye to my favorite guys that I won't see for another 2 years. The morning before, I had bawled my eyes out in the Salt Lake airport with Erica and Kayla as we said "see ya later" to Kayla for the next 20+ months. I had packed up my dorm room and cleaned out the empty room. One month ago, I was having one of the most emotional weeks of my entire life.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Come on Cady. Its the end of a school year. Not a funeral. Nobody died. You didn't graduate. It's just 4 months until you get back." But let me tell you, leaving Provo was the toughest goodbye I've ever had to go through. This was one of the best years of my entire life and I spent my time with the most amazing people! You become extremely close to people when you live with them, eat all your meals with them, go to the library with them, go to church with them, and basically spend any minute of free time with them. And these goodbyes weren't just "See you in 4 months! Have a good summer!" type of goodbye. Even though, honestly, we still would have been bawling. Most of these goodbyes were "See you in 2 years!" type of goodbyes. And two years is a long time. It's sad to realize that I might not ever see some of these people again! (Even though we already have a reunion for 2016 planned.) The other thing that made leaving so hard was knowing that my freshman year was such a unique experience that I can never repeat. It was my only year in the dorms and the only year that everyone will come to BYU knowing next to no one. It was my only year where everyone is living away from home for the first time. These things combined to create an extremely unique and amazing environment for meeting new people that would become like family. I am so excited for the next 3 years and everything that is in store, but I think I will forever look back on freshman year as one of the best years of my life!

Coming back home for the summer has been a huge transition, to say the least. Most of my friends from high school are on missions or at school or married or engaged...aka they can't hang out with me. Luckily, one of my very best friends Chelsey just got home from school and is here all summer! (And living with me in the fall!) She was at BYU Idaho last year, so its been a while since we've been together and that was a very happy reunion! She is my go-to girl and we're already planning all our summer adventures. I have also had a blast partying with my girl Valerie, who I have missed so dearly the past 8 months. I have been going to the young adult ward in my stake and have met lots of great people! The social scene is definitely different here (aka you can't just walk out your door and find something to do) but I have high hopes for the rest of the summer. It has been a blast to hang out with my family more. My mom and I have become basically attached at the hip. I love being around her and because this is probably my last summer at home, we're trying to soak in every moment! My little brothers and my dad are always making me laugh. I haven't seen much of my busy little social butterfly of a sister, but its been fun to hang out with her a little bit! (And enjoy sharing the bathroom/arguing over borrowed clothes again of course.)

I am babysitting for a couple of families so I am keeping busy and saving up for next year! Although its really hard to resist the temptation to spend all my money on plane tickets to visit all my friends/go on adventures with Chelsey this summer. Who needs to pay rent anyways? But luckily I love the little kiddos I'm working with and am kept on my toes all the time. My family and friends are great, and my friends from BYU aren't more than a Google video chat, Facebook message, text, call, or letter away (and yes we use all those methods to communciate...) This is a transition, but I'm trying to enjoy every moment just as much here as I did in Provo!}

There we go. My thoughts from May 27th aren't that different than they are now, but things are better! I am seeing the many great reasons that I have for being home and have still managed to fit in plenty of adventures. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and I plan on enjoying the heck out of the 2 1/2 months I have left in Arizona this summer! I'm motivated to come back to blogging, and  have some summer updates on here within the next couple of days to prove that I haven't just been moping around my house crying about how much I miss BYU for the last 2 months.